How to ignore other people’s opinions

how to ignore other people's opinions

How to ignore other people’s opinions



“You shouldn’t feel this way” “You’re stupid” “You’re too sensitive”

I’m going to say it as it is without embellishment: these statements are abusive.

They are used to dismiss your experience, belittle you in order to achieve control over you or feel superior to you. Unfortunately, I see them used way too often and they’re even common in people’s self-talk.

We. Need. To. Stop. This.

Allowing anyone to talk to you this way is not acceptable, and it’s no longer part of who you are today.

Today you are honouring yourself just the way you are in every step of the journey. So here are some ideas of how to dismiss those phrases:

“You shouldn’t feel this way”.

My feelings are valid and I am the one experiencing them so you have no right to tell me how I should or shouldn’t feel. Dismissing the way I feel is not going to make me feel any better, this isn’t a helpful thing to say.

The way I feel is not for you to decide, even if you would feel a different way if you were in my situation.

“You’re stupid”.

This isn’t true and is a disrespectful thing to say.

I am doing my best with the resources that I have and not having the resources to deal with a certain situation does not make me stupid.

According to what standards? (If this is something you’re saying to yourself you can also question “says who?”).

“You’re too sensitive”.

My sensitivity is a gift and doesn’t allow you to disrespect me and/or cross my boundaries. Compared to who/what? Sensitivity is subjective and everybody is different.

This statement is irrelevant and unhelpful. Honouring the way I feel would be more helpful for us to move forward with the situation. These are just ideas to get you started, but it’s a start to stop accepting those statements from others and from yourself.

Now you can also start designing your own answers!


What are other abusive phrases that you hear too often? How do you react to them?

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Mélissa Clerc

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