How to get to your higher self

How to get to your higher self

 

Make excuses or make progress.

Let’s be real here. I used to make excuses most of the time. I would say things like “I can’t do this because” or “I behave like this because” all the time.

And I have a full library of “because”! Because I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), because I’m on PMS, because it’s raining, because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, because this person was d*ck, because, because, because…

And the more you use it, the stronger your “because” becomes.

The BPD one was a tough one to overcome, especially since it came from a person to which I gave a lot of knowledge authority: a psychotherapist.

I was wearing this diagnosis like a uniform and I would use it to justify why my thoughts, coping mechanisms and behaviours where unchangeable.

“I’m an addict because addiction is part of the symptoms of BPD.”

I have chaotic relationships because of my BPD, I self-harm because I have BPD and I will never be able to handle my emotions in a healthy way.

I will never really know who I am because a symptom of my BPD is not having a strong sense of self.

And there’s plenty more. Well guess what.

Having all those “because” did not make my life better. It gave me a reason to not take responsibility for myself and not have to make any uncomfortable efforts.

Maybe I thought it was easier to feel miserable day after day because I was used to it. The truth is, change is uncomfortable and unknown so parts of you might come out with resistance because not knowing means that you might end up in an unsafe situation that isn’t planned for.

The excuses aren’t here to mess up your life, their higher purpose it to keep you safe. So the next time they come up, observe what parts of you need to be reassured and comfort them with kind words.

Don’t just suck it up or ignore it as it might slow you down or even maybe make you feel stuck further along the path.

Remember to be gentle and kind to yourself. All these parts aren’t maliciously trying to sabotage you, they’re just trying to keep you safe with what they know. So the best way to overcome these excuses that are holding you back is to observe why they’re still there and give yourself what you need instead. A lot of them come from a lack of recognition, love and safety in childhood and now that you know, you can give those things to yourself, be your own parent and protector. Without holding yourself back.

You got this, you gorgeous soul.